I ran and ran, away from the phonebooth, away from the world. My existence is probably a mistake and the only thought on my weary mind was suicide. Tears was building up with great exaction and i could feel it boil without mercy, without care of the vessel that houses it.
The cloud rumbled in anger, releasing it’s own, soaking me wet. The rain was washing down on me, but it couldn’t wash away the worries, the pain. The strong wave was waging war against me, but i was adamant not to lose, not to stop as i run to an unknown destination. I needed a place to cry and let go, a place to think or most likely, to kill myself. I stumbled and fell. My body convulsed as tears roll down like endless stream of crystals.
Hmmmmm.. When the consequences of bad decision come bashing at me with fury in it’s eyes. When my dark ugly past pays a visit. I have no choice than to run away and cry. Am not flaunting my weakness nor does it make me feminine. Is just my modus of letting go tensions and pains. I feel better afterwards and because of that, i can’t stop crying.
Most of my friends usually assert that crying is for the weak, but I usually dispute that. Crying is for those stable at heart, is for those who are strong and can feel. Not for the stone hearted or broken soul. I have made mistakes, we all have done something that might likely haunt us till grave, but refusing to cry when overwhelmed is adding to your piles of burden.
There are feelings which i can’t express to people around me, my friends and family due to some moral implications. What of depicting that feeling to myself? Is only in crying that i can do that. Besides, am human and not a robot. Yes! Am a guy and guys aren’t expected to cry. We are expected to hide them all, hoard them within until we can’t feel anymore. That’s cruel.. There are days when I laugh and joke while some days takes an evil turn on me and i feel like screaming; that’s the uncertainty of life anyway. But no matter what happen, don’t feel weird seeing a man cry. The world weighs heavily upon us, more heavily when fates frowns. So, you’re doing yourself bad by refusing to cry.
Crying makes us human, that’s obviously the difference between us and robots. Maybe aliens also. So please, when you can’t take it any longer, when you feel the vacuum is filled up with no space left; cry your heart out, pour out those anxieties till they are nowhere to be found.
But let it be healthy!